There’s no one who is meaner than a bunch of asshole teens.
Those assholes are the first people that you will soon forget
When you’re living life and learning how much better it can get….
It gets better!
-Rebecca Dysdale
I just wanted to share with all my trusty followers (that's you, mom and dad) this fabulous and not that new project by Dan Savage (my hero): www.itgetsbetter.org
It is a website for lbgtq* teens about how though life may SUCK for them now (in high school), things get better. Life is worth living. I wasn't a lbgtq teen, I'm not a lbgtq adult and I wasn't particularly picked on in high school (though, to be fair, I did like Hanson and that was worthy of some poking), but high school really does suck I think for everyone. This website is awesome. There are videos form Obama, the cast of Glee (gay? shocking.), police men and women, ex-military, politicians, regular joe's, current high school students.....the list goes on. It is totally worth a little browse through of the website.
And, even though I feel like a Dan Savage cheerleader right now, check out his weekly column/podcast (thestranger.com) on relationship and sex advise. It is about relationships and sex, but I think it is about a lot more. It is about setting boundaries, being assertive, knowing yourself, being critical of yourself, communicating with your family and with your partner(s) and not being a shitty person. And he is hilarious....I should qualify that: he is hilarious if you agree with him in general ie if you are a (far) left leaning, sexually and otherwise open person. Otherwise, you may find him particularly offensive. soz.
Oh, but the point of this whole thing is this:
*Mom, Dad: this means lesbian, bi, gay, trans or queer.....maybe you knew, sorry
"If you're not getting happier as you get older, you're fucking up" - Ani Difranco
I went to the Ani Difanco concert tonight with Lana.
We had an awesome little corner of the venue surrounded by joyful people.
Ani was more spectacular than I could have imagined. I mean I like her music ok, but her live is a whoooooole 'nother can o' beans!
Lana and I (and our happy little gathering of concert friends) swayed along, bopped along, sang along with fabulous tunes such as "both hands", "gravel" and (the final tune) "untouchable face"...and lots of new songs that aren't out yet that are really good!
By far the best line of the night was the one I have quoted above. I think it could be true and I'm really trying not to fuck up.
"And any man who knows a thing knows
he knows not a damn, damn thing at all"
-K'naan
K'naan. He's from Somalia, but lives in Canada now. He is really awesome. Someday I will see him live. Oh and if you feel the urge, totally watch an interview with him.
The lyrics:
And any man who knows a thing knows
He knows not a damn, damn thing at all
And every time I felt the hurt
And I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
How did Mandela get the will to surpass the everyday
When injustice had him caged and trapped in every way?
How did Gandhi ever withstand the hunger strikes and all?
Didn't do it to gain power or money if I recall
It's to give, I guess, I'll pass it on
Mother thinks it'll lift the stress of Babylon
Mother knows, my mother she suffered blows
I don't know how we survived such violent episodes
I was so worried and hurt to see you bleed
But as soon as you came out the hospital you gave me sweets
Yeah, they try to take you from me
But you still only gave 'em some prayers and sympathy
Dear mama, you helped me write this
By showing me to give is priceless
And any man who knows a thing knows
He knows not a damn, damn thing at all
And every time I felt the hurt
And I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
All I can say is the worst is over now
We can serve the hard times, divorce, it's over now
They try to keep us out but they doors is open now
My nigga, Akon is gettin' awards and covers now
This is K'naan and still reppin' the S
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/k/k_naan-lyrics/take-a-minute-lyrics.html -]
Comin' out of Mogadishu and still draped in the mess
And no matter how we strong, homie
It ain't easy comin' out of where we from, homie
And that's the reason why, I could never play for me
Tell 'em the truth is what my dead homies told me
Ooh yeah, I take inspiration from the most heinous of situations
Creating medication out my own tribulations
Dear Africa, you helped me write this
By showing me to give is priceless
And any man who knows a thing knows
He knows not a damn, damn thing at all
And every time I felt the hurt
And I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
Nothing is perfect man, that's what the world is
All I know is I'm enjoying today
You know 'cause it isn't every day that you get to give
And any man who knows a thing knows
He knows not a damn, damn thing at all
And every time I felt the hurt
And I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I got nothin' to complain about
You know where I'm from
You know where I'ma last, so
You know I was flyin' high
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
Here is another cool song. Not as catchy, but I think pretty powerful. It's by a guy called The General from Tunisia. He' speaking out against the government's apathy towards the people's poverty. Here's more about him: http://www.guardian.co.uk/global-development/poverty-matters/2011/jan/18/tunisia-jasmine-revolution-the-general-rap
"Oh you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
- Drew Carey
I am looking for a new job. My years in hospitality are, I feel ( I hope), drawing to a close. I realized this approximately 4 months after I began work in the hospitality business in the June of 2008. It turns out that guests, while I'm sure they are perfectly lovely people in other situations, are needy and annoying and ask ridiculous questions ("Do you have a gym here?"...."Um, no. We are a hostel. You are paying 15 pounds a night to stay in a room with 5 other smelly people in inner London.").
Let us recall some of the more exciting or, at least, ridiculous moments in my past two years + of this thrilling line of work:
-There was the man with a knife who passed out in the hostel I worked at in Seattle. I got to work at 7:30am to be informed by the night staff that a man was passed out in the smoking room and he needed to be removed from the hostel. I walked into the smoking room (by myself, not knowing that weapons were involved in this situation) and did indeed find a man passed out in a chair. He was icky smelling. I tapped his shoulder lightly... "sir?" Nothing. I shook harder "Um, sir, you need to wake up." Nothing. I returned to the reception where I informed my coworker that he was still passed out and that I couldn't wake him by shaking him. "WHAT?! You touched him?! Dude, he has a knife!" Great. Police came. Paramedics came (lots of alcohol = bad). We told him he needed to leave. Now. Police escorted him to his room to gather his belongings. Police walk him to the front desk where he is given a refund for the days he would no longer be staying. Ok so far.....then he used his arm to wipe the entire contents of the front desk onto the floor (including the tip jar which broke against the wall as it fell). Racial slurs come out. My coworker and I stand behind the desk saying nothing as police escort him from the building. We locked the front door. I served breakfast to our comparatively normal guests.
-Reception: "Um, I was never told about the 3 pound charge for non-members." Me: "It is displayed prominently on our web-page. Also, I made your reservation for you yesterday over the phone and I told you explicitly that you would be either charged 3 pounds or you could become a member of the organization for a 10 pound charge." Him: "I'd like to speak to your manager." "Okey dokey." Man explains problem to manager. Manager: "Sir, I spoke with you on the phone yesterday when you got mad at Susie about the non-member fee and requested to speak to the manager ." Man: "Oh".
-"Do you have a gym?" -"Where would I find the pool?"
-"Can you proof read this email to my lady friend? I'm trying to come off as desperate and lonely because women like desperate, lonely men." Me: "Do they really though?"
-"Would you like berry or natural yogurt? We are out of peach this morning, unfortunately." Guest: "Peach." Me: "We are out of peach this morning, unfortunately."
-"Good morning, you've reached YHA St. Pancras. How may I help you?" Future guest: "Is this St. Pancras YHA?" Me: "Yes."
-Man who was getting kicked out of hostel for being an ass (among other things he yelled at our chef and threatened another guest): "You think you are soooooo special because you work at a hostel."
The fact of the matter is though that I do not think I am special for working in a hostel. Hostel work is easy in that it doesn't require much brain juice, but it is emotionally taxing. Sometimes I deal with people that I feel very sad for. Sometimes I serve people who kind of scare me. Sometime you meet really lovely people, who are really appreciative and leave you gifts from their home country. Sometime you serve people who forget that they booked a hostel and not a hotel. Sometimes I remind them of this. Sometimes you can forget that everyone has a story and that you don't know it when you meet them and, most of the time, you will never know it. Sometimes you judge too quickly and then feel bad when you find out missing bits of the story. Sometimes when you know someones story it is still hard to have unlimited patience. The moral of the story though is this: it is time to move on.
Sometimes when I get really frustrated at work I try to think about the number one thing that has made me stick around hostels: my friends. I have made super friends working at both the hostel in Seattle and here in London. They are the glue. I am applying for other jobs (charity jobs, reproductive health jobs, academic research jobs, funded PhD's etc...). I don't have one yet, but I am throwing my desire out there into the the living ether.
"An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one." -George Mikes
So I've been here in merry old England for a while now and I thought that I should wrack my brain and think up some of the sillier/weirder things (and some neither silly nor weird things, too) that I have learned this year about the differences between America and England.
Words: There are lots of words that are quite different like: lift (elevator) loo (bathroom) rubbish (garbage) skip (dumpster) knickers (underwear)
Then there are words and phrases that we use too...but they mean different things. These are the words that usually lead to giggles and sometimes extreme embarrassment (see example one).
We'll start with the most awkward. Here is the scene: Susie is at a small house gathering. She is holding two drinks. She is not very drunk, but she probably shouldn't drive a car (which conveniently she can't do over here anyway because they drive on the wrong side of the road). She thinks it is silly that she is holding two drinks and tells her dear friend that "hehe, I'm double fisting!" The whole room goes silent. Susie realizes that she didn't say what she thought she said and giggles. The whole room then starts laughing AT Susie (not with). Note to any travelers to the UK: double fisting does not mean holding two drinks. I will not write what it means here because this blog is for all ages and I think you can all guess.
Pudding means dessert in general....but it can also mean pudding. Weird. I discovered this in a kind of "Who's on first" way with my friend Lana. She asked if I wanted pudding. I said I didn't much feel like pudding, but cake would be nice. And she said....so you do want pudding? Me: No thanks (in my head: were you listening???), but I would like cake. Lana: Pudding. Me: CAKE. Lana (figuring out the issue): what does pudding mean to you? Me: soft, smooth dessert that you eat with a spoon?
A casserole is a stew and definitely does not have cornflakes, funions or fritos on the top.
PANTS!!!! They are underwear. So saying "Oh crap, I just got my pants all wet" after spilling a drink on you lap or "ew, I really need to wash these pants" or "hm, this is the third day in a row that I've worn these pants" or "mmmm, I love your pants. Hot!" IS NOT OK! Pants are called trousers, which to me sounds like old man pants that they wear FAR too high (like just under their man boobs) with a belt thus creating a very unfortunate moose-knuckle effect.
So other weird things. People don't really say what they mean here. I've been trying to figure out if we say what we mean in America or if we don't but I just know what people are saying because that is my cultural background. But I really think that English people really don't say what they mean more than Americans, but as a result they seem to be better at taking hints (like "I don't feel like talking to you, strange person on the bus" kind of hints). In surveys if you ask people to rate their feeling on something from 0 (I hate it) to 5 (I LOVE it so so so much), there are lots of 3's....but I think 3's are like really hating something here. But, that's the problem....I JUST DON'T KNOW!!!! (oh and capitol letters are mean...they are like shouting here. they don't like shouting).
Oh, and people here think Americans are really aggressive. To some extent, I think this is true (look at our politics compared to here). But I think a lot of the time, we actually aren't being aggressive by our standards when English people think that we are. Words we would use are "proactive" or "confident" or "a real go-getter" or something else like that that just indicates being forward in a nice way. I think Americans look at lots of things as little challenges to work out together (fun!) and then we get excited and talk to each other really loudly because we are excited and then English people think that we are being a bit too hyper about something mundane and a bit aggressive.
Its true, we are way loud comparatively. I talk really loud when I get excited. In fact, some may say that I yell and I would have to agree. My English friends don't really do this.
English people think that they have a monopoly on humor. I think really that they just have a distinct sense of humor that they think is the best. I will admit that it has grown on me, but I still don't think its the best. But English people don't really like it if you don't think English humor is funny (because they think it is the best as I've said). Then they just make fun of you for liking "obvious American humor" (oh, how unrefined my taste is). Whatever, I do like "obvious American humor".
There are lots of other fun differences. Sorry if I offend any English friends (you have a lovely country....thanks for letting me stay...eh?).
"The glove compartment is inaccurately named
And everybody knows it"
-Death Cab for Cutie
I haven't been the most consistent of bloggers...so here is what you've missed. These pictures are not in order but they give you an idea of the adventures that were had.
Traverse City, Michigan - October
Summer in Camden, London
Cat at the Land Seer, Holloway, London
Cat in my room - Crouch End, London
Ireland - May
Ireland - May (that's dad walking)
Ireland - May
Ireland - May
Ireland - May
Mallorca - January
Mallorca - Jauary
Mallorca - January
Mallorca - Jauary
Newington Green, London - Summer
Newington Green - Summer
Newington Green - Summer
Granny B's Screen Porch in Castine, Maine - July
Castine, Maine - July
Maine - July
Maine - July
Maine - July
Maine - July
Maine - July
Dad in Bath - May
Sloane Square, London - Summer
Sloane Square, London - Summer
Camden Tube Station, London
Hampstead Heath, London - Summer
Blue Hill Falls, Maine - July
Lady's Pond, Hampstead Heath, London - Summer
Lady's Pond, Hampstead Heath, London - SummerS
Essex, UK - August
Lana on New River Walk, London - Summer
Summer in Camden, London
Essex, UK - August
Essex, UK - August
Essex, UK - August
Essex, UK - August
Regent's Park, London - Summer
Little Hampton, UK - May
Lana in East London - September
Arundel, UK - May
Arundel, UK - May
Arundel, UK - May
Arundel, UK - May
Arundel, UK - May
Arundel, UK - May
Mom Scotland, UK - June
Castine, Maine - July
Summer in Regent's Park
Angel, London - Summer
Martin visit, London - September
Dissertation turn in day, London - September
Tom in Brussels, Belgium - October
Traverse City, Michigan - October
Friends....Traverse City, Michigan - October
Bringing in the New Year with dancing and hugs
2011 has started with a brand new (one week old) visa to stay in the UK. After 7 long long weeks of waiting it arrived to my happy little Crouch End home. This visa will allow me to live and work in the UK through 2012. This year has also come with a brand new baby cousin! She is much more darling than my visa and I love her a lot more...but I'm excited about both.
To come this year (well, soon i hope): a list of things that are weird in England.
I'm an atheist who believes strongly in the power of community, love, and interdependence. Independence is over rated. I will always be a Seattleite no matter where my life takes me.
