Caretaking this Moment

Caretake this moment.
Immerse yourself in its particulars.
Respond to this person, this challenge, this deed.

Quit the evasions.
Stop giving yourself needless trouble.
It is time to really live; to fully inhabit the situation you happen to be in now.
You are not some disinterested bystander.
Exert yourself.

Respect your partnership with providence.
Ask yourself often, How may I perform this particular deed
such that it would be consistent with and acceptable to the divine will?
Heed the answer and get to work.

When your doors are shut and your room is dark you are not alone.
The will of nature is within you as your natural genius is within.
Listen to its importunings.
Follow its directives.

As concerns the art of living, the material is your own life.
No great thing is created suddenly.
There must be time.

Give your best and always be kind.

-Epictetus

On Sunday, yesterday, Lana, Leigh, Andy and I led a service at Newington Green Unitarian Church in north London. Our theme was appreciation. In the service, we took time to, not just talk about appreciation, but to share it. I read the following:

"Following the theme of Caitlin's reflection, we are now going to spend some time sharing our appreciation. We invite you to think for a few moments about someone who you appreciate. Then, when you are ready, use the paper provided in your order of service to write that person's name and a short sentence summarizing why you appreciate them. When we have all finished writing, we are going to share. Just stand up whenever you feel ready........

"Thank you, all. Sharing appreciation has great power. Albert Schweitzer said 'At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with great gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.' In our hands we hold little slips of paper with simple words. But, each one has the potential to rekindle or fuel someone else's flame. In order to do that, however, we must share our appreciation with the person it is directed towards. Only in expressing our appreciation to that person may we hope to be a spark to their flame. So perhaps, if we are all willing, we may set ourselves a goal: to be a spark and be sparked by sharing our appreciation with others."

The service went really well and it was filling. Being a part of this Unitarian community fills me. Somehow, taking time each week to reflect and to be around with a group of people so committed to supporting on another has given my life a fullness and purpose that I have sought elsewhere to no avail. There is no dogma, no preaching, no 'truths' per se, yet I have never experienced such intentional and genuine commitment to positive living/growing as I have found in this community.

a prayer of sorts

"be here now"
-Oasis
take a moment to breathe in the invisible peace that surrounds us daily whether we choose to take it in or not. ground yourself in the small comforts of life, the small joys we share and those we enjoy only with our own selves. embrace what you have. find joy in the present. take joy in the present. see joy in the present. be joy in the present. when joy is not possible just be in the present. be here now. see here now. giving to the bank of common humanity leads to greater gains later. gains in the currency of love, joy, peaceful hearts, and comfort in self. the alignment of actions, beliefs, and self brings contentment and peace unobtainable by any other means. align yourself. breathe in now. be here now.

Hello Seattle

"Hello Seattle
I am the crescent moon
shining down on your face"
-Owl City




Please ignore the fact that we don't have manta-rays...or seahorses...

cycles

The man who accepts Western values absolutely, finds his creative faculties becoming so warped and stunted that he is almost completely dependent on external satisfactions, and the moment he becomes frustrated in his search for these, he begins to develop neurotic symptoms, to feel that life is not worth living, and, in chronic cases, to take his own life.
-Paul Robeson


alive
energy quivering
like coffee saturated
hands trying to hold
steady the ecstasy
of an ephemeral
joy.
this too shall pass.
crash!
shaking hands
cannot control
cannot keep
something so
slippery
and fleeting
as true joy.
this too has passed.
and on a moutain
stroll i gain
momentum
as i begin to see
the peak above me,
begin to remember
that joy,
no matter how ephemeral,
sustains us
makes us alive
gives us hope.
each step is
motivated by the taste
of something
i remember, i
seek again.
the peak is clear
i am near
my hands were
steady but begin
to quiver
grasping
for purpose.

dreaming of mountains

"Today i dream of home
and not of London anymore"
-The Waifs

choice and acceptance

"Times they gotta change
but so do we"
-Margot and the Nuclear So and So's

life happens and it is uncontrollable. sometimes there is a tendency to pity oneself, to say, "look at all these things happening to me. look at all these things happening to me that make me unable to be who i would be if all were perfect." this is completely ridiculous. happy people are not happy because everything goes well in their life, but because they choose to react to situations with an open mind and heart. they don't get their minds and hearts stuck on what they wish were true, but rather they accept each situation as it comes, embrace it, and love it for what it is. an immense peace comes from letting go of our false sense of control. when we act like we can control what can happen in our lives we quickly become frustrated and bitter when things do not go as we try to make them. we are failing! something is wrong with us because we cannot control! but really we are failing because we have created an impossible task. so lighten up. let go of control. open your mind. see the world in a new light of acceptance and love. the only thing we may have a chance of controlling is ourselves and our reactions to the situations we encounter. nothing happens to us except that which we allow. choose to open.

Sock Monkey!

"Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you"
-Oasis

Yesterday was a beautiful day. After work, I went to Unity Unitarian as I do most Sundays. The service was on the subject of healing. Andy made the point that there is no such thing as miraculous healing (as many Christian faiths would have you believe). People are not touched and then healed of their wounds, physical or emotional. Rather, Andy presented the idea that true healing often comes simply from listening/sharing. He challenged us to truly listen to those who come to us with hurt to share. He challenged us to "don't just do something, stand there!" We then did an exercise in listening with a partner. I was paired with a girl (young woman) about my age who I have been getting to know over the past few weeks. Andy asked us to speak/listen for 1 minute on the question "who are you?" My exchange with my partner was...well healing...just like it was supposed to be. It ended up that my partner and I are going through similar emotional processes right now. We continued our conversation into the tea time that follows each service. Also, during Tea I had a really exciting conversation about monkey behavior with Andy, a community member not Minister Andy, and a woman named Tammy.

Later in the evening, I returned to Unity for a dinner hosted by Andy, the minister, and his wife, Miriam. Before any eating, we all decorated our meeting hall with a tree and garlands. After we were satisfied with our work we moved towards dinner. Andy and Miriam live in a really cute flat about the community center we meet in. Miriam had made a HUGE pot of chili, spiced cider, mulled wine and other delicious teats. Upstairs we helped decorate their tree with all their family ornaments and popcorn that we strung. Those of us who came were mostly the younger members of the community, people without families around to help get in the Christmas spirit. We ended up staying for almost 5 hours talking and laughing and sharing. As we were leaving, Tammy reached into her purse and pulled out two mini blue sock monkeys which she presented to non-minister Andy and myself. When she had gone home between the service (when we talked about monkeys) and the dinner she had grabbed these little monkeys which she had MADE to give as little Christmas presents to Andy and I. I LOVE this community and I LOVE my new monkey! It is so patiently welcoming and inclusive. I feel very much a part of it and connected in a way that I haven't really experienced before. I feel supported and supportive. In being nurtured, I feel more nurturing.