England

"An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one."
-George Mikes

So I've been here in merry old England for a while now and I thought that I should wrack my brain and think up some of the sillier/weirder things (and some neither silly nor weird things, too) that I have learned this year about the differences between America and England.

Words:
There are lots of words that are quite different like:
lift (elevator)
loo (bathroom)
rubbish (garbage)
skip (dumpster)
knickers (underwear)


Then there are words and phrases that we use too...but they mean different things.  These are the words that usually lead to giggles and sometimes extreme embarrassment (see example one).


We'll start with the most awkward.  Here is the scene: Susie is at a small house gathering.  She is holding two drinks.  She is not very drunk, but she probably shouldn't  drive a car (which conveniently she can't do over here anyway because they drive on the wrong side of the road).  She thinks it is silly that she is holding two drinks and tells her dear friend that "hehe, I'm double fisting!"  The whole room goes silent.  Susie realizes that she didn't say what she thought she said and giggles.  The whole room then starts laughing AT Susie (not with).  Note to any travelers to the UK: double fisting does not mean holding two drinks.  I will not write what it means here because this blog is for all ages and I think you can all guess.


Pudding means dessert in general....but it can also mean pudding. Weird.  I discovered this in a kind of "Who's on first" way with my friend Lana.  She asked if I wanted pudding.  I said I didn't much feel like pudding, but cake would be nice.  And she said....so you do want pudding?  Me: No thanks (in my head:  were you listening???), but I would like cake.  Lana: Pudding.   Me: CAKE.  Lana (figuring out the issue): what does pudding mean to you? Me: soft, smooth dessert that you eat with a spoon? 


A casserole is a stew and definitely does not have cornflakes, funions or fritos on the top.

PANTS!!!! They are underwear.  So saying "Oh crap, I just got my pants all wet" after spilling a drink on you lap or "ew, I really need to wash these pants"  or "hm, this is the third day in a row that I've worn these pants" or "mmmm, I love your pants. Hot!"  IS NOT OK!  Pants are called trousers, which to me sounds like old man pants that they wear FAR too high (like just under their man boobs) with a belt thus creating a very unfortunate moose-knuckle effect. 

So other weird things.  People don't really say what they mean here.  I've been trying to figure out if we say what we mean in America or if we don't but I just know what people are saying because that is my cultural background.  But I really think that English people really don't say what they mean more than Americans, but as a result they seem to be better at taking hints (like "I don't feel like talking to you, strange person on the bus" kind of hints).  In surveys if you ask people to rate their feeling on something from 0 (I hate it) to 5 (I LOVE it so so so much), there are lots of 3's....but I think 3's are like really hating something here.  But, that's the problem....I JUST DON'T KNOW!!!! (oh and capitol letters are mean...they are like shouting here.  they don't like shouting).  

Oh, and people here think Americans are really aggressive.  To some extent, I think this is true (look at our politics compared to here).  But I think a lot of the time, we actually aren't being aggressive by our standards when English people think that we are.  Words we would use are "proactive" or "confident" or "a real go-getter" or something else like that that just indicates being forward in a nice way.   I think Americans look at lots of things as little challenges to work out together (fun!) and then we get excited and talk to each other really loudly because we are excited and then English people think that we are being a bit too hyper about something mundane and a bit aggressive.  


Its true, we are way loud comparatively.  I talk really loud when I get excited.  In fact, some may say that I yell and I would have to agree.  My English friends don't really do this.


English people think that they have a monopoly on humor. I think really that they just have a distinct sense of humor that they think is the best.  I will admit that it has grown on me, but I still don't think its the best.  But English people don't really like it if you don't think English humor is funny (because they think it is the best as I've said).  Then they just make fun of you for liking "obvious American humor" (oh, how unrefined my taste is).  Whatever, I do like "obvious American humor".

 There are lots of other fun differences.  Sorry if I offend any English friends (you have a lovely country....thanks for letting me stay...eh?).